Courtesy of Flickr user Marshed
After coming down from the shock and excitement from my surprise engagement I sat with my new fiancé and we decided we wanted a small wedding (75 people MAX) outside of Los Angeles. Cut to a few hours later, upon telling my parents of my brilliant plan, my mother laughed at the guest number and told me that wouldn’t even cover our family alone. Let the wedding stress begin!
I love my parents and love that they are so excited for my wedding – and aside from advising me that I should do my wedding in my hometown of Los Angeles (so Grandma Ann and Grandma Ona can come) and upping the number of invites (we do have a lot of wonderful friends and family) they have let me make my wedding choices. My main goal is to stay completely sane and refuse to become the bridezilla that I have seen many people around me turn into. While these choices may not be for everyone – these are the things that I have done to make my life for the next year a little more tolerable.
Hired a Wedding Planner
Design by Beth Helmstetter, Photography by Steve Steinhardt
At first, my mom and I thought that our years of event planning would make this wedding planning thing a breeze. After I started to make the “to-do” list – and tried to figure out how that would work out while having a full time job – I turned to my mother and we decided hiring a professional to do this would make our lives a whole lot easier. I found the lovely and talented Beth Helmstetter from flipping through magazines and searching bridal blogs. Her aesthetic is AMAZING and she couldn’t be nicer. Adding her to my life has been a complete blessing.
No Bridesmaids
Much to the dismay of many of my friends, I opted out of bridesmaids. I always knew my cousin (who is 3 months older and like a sister to me) would be my maid of honor. With my cousin by my side, my fiancé’s brother on his
side, I immediately felt at ease. I decided to make my brother my best man – and the bridal party of three was set. No hurt feelings. No unhappy girls in dresses they don’t want to buy. No coordinating schedules. Immediate relief.
No Save The Dates
This was a tough decision – and one that my mother did not accept willingly. My wedding is on the Sunday of a holiday weekend (I know some of you are rolling your eyes, but when you are Jewish and want a summer wedding, you can’t start your wedding until after sundown on a Saturday – and that could be like 8:30pm!). Every rule in the book says I should be sending save the dates. But I have chosen against them for several reasons. 1) Nearly everyone who is invited already knows when and where the wedding is. 2) Procrastinating on getting the invitation style together made me realize I was cutting it awfully close to the date I should be sending the Save The Dates, and rushing to get them out seemed way too stressful. 3) Isn’t the invitation the save the date?? How many times do I really need to remind people that I am getting married?
Small Group for Dress Shopping
I went dress shopping three times. The first time I went with my grandma and mother. The second time I just went 
with my mom. The third time I brought my mom and cousin. On the third time I found my dress. All three of us loved the dress. I didn’t need more opinions to confuse my choice. I have seen how large groups can upset a bride (I watch Say Yes To The Dress!) Keeping it small and personal made everything so much easier.
Knowing When to Stop Talking About It
I think it is very sweet when people ask me about my wedding. And I love talking about it – to an extent. But after a while, there are only so many things I can say about my wedding colors, flower choices, dress, table linens… I tend to keep my answers to wedding questions short and sweet. Some people have laughed at me calling me the “anti-bride” because I don’t want to gush over every detail. The fact is, I am looking forward to my wedding – but talking about it all the time in great detail starts to stress me out. I want to enjoy the process and I want to enjoy the day. It’s not that I hate my wedding and hate talking about it – I just hate feeling stressed.
Subscribe to RSS
Brilliant Kim. I can think of a few people who REALLY need to read this post, wonder how I can tactfully pass it along to them…hmmmm….
No bridesmaids? Brilliant – that means none of those awful dresses. So have you found a way to get the groom-to-be to help out? Seems as they always escape helping out on all the fine details! Can’t wait to see some photos from your low-maintenance day!
Awesome! I wish I would have a hired a wedding planner. Although most of my family did the planning. Let me know how you are holding up the week before, if you are still cool as a cucumber I’ll need to sit you down and give you the talk of what’s really going on here…YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED!! Whoop, whoop! Mazel Tov
Thanks for the shout out Kim!! I’m so excited for the big day!
Love the photo of the cake. It looks delicious!
You are so wise; nothing is worse than wearing a dress you despise and having to smile like you love it.
OMG, I was an anti-bride, too! I ended up getting married in the kitchen of my favorite delicatessen that i practically live at. It was no fuss, no muss, and my usual bus boy, Mervin, was there to clean up our small mess after.
OK, Some of your Ideas are great and can save you a lot of time and stress,but…. Not everyone can or should use a Wedding Planner, while they are nice to use if you simply can’t or don’t want to handle it yourself but most people like to do their own planning since they should not have the chance to plan their own wedding again
. I am a realist I know that in this age women are way busier than when our Mothers were married but still being hands on and seeing it all come together makes the day even more special. Now about the cake in the picture, Are those King Dons with icing flowers??? Honestly, if you can afford a Wedding PLanner I am sure you could find a nicer cake!!!!! I also agree that you may be calm now but no matter who is helping out, that last week before, you cry,scream, feel guilty, frusterated,fat,misarable,and then Truley Happy!! Enjoy because hopfully you will only have 1 wedding for yourself!! Best of Luck and a lifetime of happiness!!!