Source: Flickr User Don Hankins
It may slowly becoming clear to the regular Blush Blog reader that my personal life serves as fodder for blog posts. And with my long term affinity for Online Dating revealed last month, I thought it would be remiss of me not to share my Top 3 Online Dating Websites, for you, the reader to potentially investigate. Please note that these sites fall onto this list because of the quality of their users, not necessarily the functionality or overall look of the site itself.
Let’s dive right in!
Pros:
If you’re in the heart of a major city (Hello: New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco!) and you’re looking for someone who really knows how to woo via the pen, this is your site hands down! Nerve peeps are well-read, well-written, and generally well-coiffed. The LA Nerve circuit is largely comprised of hipsters and screen writers, so know your audience when creating your profile (Read: wearing your glasses in your profile pic will get you laid for once). If the uber idiosyncratic profile is something you adore, you’ll fall more in love with each click. Nerve also pools the personals sections of theonion.com and salon.com so if you’re amused by/appropriately in awe of the content on either site, you will probably thoroughly enjoy connecting with the nerve user.
Cons:
The site is slow, and kind of buggy. You don’t have to pay to be a member, but you do have to pay if you’d like to enlarge the thumbnails pics to a size where you can ensure that the guy you’re flirting with is not your best friends father. Another potential caveat for some, is that the Nerve user is for the most part smart and attractive enough to date whomever they choose. Thus they tend to be a commitment phobic bunch as a whole. So, if you’re looking for a lifelong partner to raise your babies with, you may wish to move on to my number 2 recommendation.
Pros:
With a much bigger and less hipsterrific user base than Nerve (they partner with MSN and AOL), Match offers you the benefit of an audience who will forgive you for not knowing the lyrics to the entire Modest Mouse catalog. The Match member is quite likely to be dead serious about meeting their next girlfriend/boyfriend online. They’re typically pretty sincere and honest about what they’re looking for, and even the most unseasoned newbie can jump into this site and do well for themselves. If you’re the lazy sort you can just go off the options they send you, although personally I think their formula must be severely flawed because I’ve never once been intrigued by one of their computer generated matches.
Cons:
If you do know the lyrics to the entire Modest Mouse catalog you won’t get an opportunity to show off. You’ll also be out of luck if you enjoy establishing a well played game of banter prior to the first date. The Match user is normally pretty traditional and wants to skip to the first coffee/drink as fast as possible without investing too much time crafting perfectly witty emails. This could be a pro for you if you’re in a rush. You can’t read your emails unless you’ve got a paid membership, so be prepared to whip out your Visa.
Pros:
Like Match, this site is huge. There’s seriously like a gazillion people on it. It’s also free free free! Can’t beat that! It has it all too: pseudo intellectuals, Hollywood scenesters, religiously minded marriage bound lads, and bad boy assholes. Whatever floats your boat, you can probably find on this site. And again, it’s free. The other neat thing is that when you are online, you show up in the top banner and guys will email you by the hundred. If your self esteem is in need of a boost, this is your site. Where you can wait weeks for a note on Nerve, POF will get you more mail than you can even consider reading. This will make you feel popular, and that will in turn make you feel prettier.
Cons:
Since it’s free you’re potentially dealing with some non-serious users who are just having fun. People can be notoriously flaky on this site so don’t be shocked if someone you’ve exchanged a few emails with disappears entirely. There’s also a high douchebag factor. Lot’s of shirtless, faceless shots. Lots of “hey baby, you be lookin fine, hows about we keep it real at my pad tonight aight?” openers. Get ready to keep your cursor poised on the delete button. On a plus, even those messages will make you feel popular, and that will in turn make you feel prettier. (Do not, under any circumstances, look at the ratings you are getting on the hot/not feature. It’s crushing to your soul!)
I think that about sums it up. The sites are not in any particular order because my usage of each really does depend on my current dating goal. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to hearing what your favorites are, so please don’t hesitate to leave comments.
xoxo,
Taryn
Tags: online dating
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Great input. Love that there are a few reviews on sites I have never tried. I found match to be a meat market w/ nobody really looking to go an an actual date. i like the sound of nerve.com. might have to give that a try!!! lots of supernerds on e-harm in LA. Beware.
Haha, I love it.
I made a POF profile the other weekend due to my friend talking me into it, sick of hearing me complain about men… after about 20 minutes I was overwhelmed with a million emails, mostly attacking me for having a fake profile picture (thank you) and others who were about 19-21years old wanting to “get lost in conversation” or have me join their skateboarding club. I got scared I would end up like one of those girls on CSI, so I deleted it.
But you are right, I did feel quite popular and might give it another shot if I need a confidence boost.
I met my FABULOUS fiance on Match.com. We will be celebrating our second year together next week. I hated the site at first and found that there were a lot of people on the site who thought they wanted a relationship, but in reality were unaware of their commitment issues. When I finally bogged down and decided I would rather read a book then go out with some loser who was more interested in his ex-girlfriend, I finally began to screen people more carefully. I figured if they weren’t interested in finding something serious then I wasn’t interested in chatting with them. I already had plenty of friends and a fabulous booty call. Once I surrendered and got serious about what I really wanted and not what I thought I wanted, my fabulous prince charming came along. BTW…he was far from prince charming I always had imagined in my head. So, let your expectations go to the waste side, but NEVER give up your standards. Overall, I give Match.com 2 thumbs up.
Thanks for the article!
Great article! Don’t forget about the older, cultured guy who’s into kinky sex epidemic on Nerve.com that both me and the chick from Marie Claire article have experienced.
That is true, there are some jerks on Match too. But thats just the name of the dating in general eh? Unfortunately, I cannot comment on eHarmony as they rejected me. I’m not bitter. Obviously.
Seriously Liz, POF goes straight to your ego. I especially recommend it to cure post-break-up-blues!
Thanks Taryn – this is great!
It’s been a few years since I’ve done any online dating – I met my fabulous boyfriend on match 3 1/2 years ago. I had a really great experience overall. (Don’t get me wrong, I met some weirdos, but I also met some really amazing, professional guys as well who were interested in finding a girlfriend.) Here were some of my keys to success:
1. Don’t do too much emailing back and forth – take the plunge and meet in person asap if there’s interest. Chemistry is super important, and you’ll save yourself a lot of time. There were some guys who I had great emails with, but felt nothing for them once we met face to face.
2. It’s okay to be vain. I NEVER considered anyone who didn’t have a picture. Physical attraction is important. And if there’s no pic – I can’t help but wonder what they’re hiding.
3. Go on lots of dates. I used online dating as a tool to meet new people – not to spend more time on the computer. Think of it as an expansion of your social circle. The more people you meet, the better your chance of meeting the person you want to find.
Thanks for sharing Farrah! I love proof that online dating can lead to more than a free dinner (btw I don’t believe in doing dinner as the first online date but that’s a whole blog post by itself!)
I’m sorry, Beatrix, you say that like it’s a bad thing…;)
Nicole – You’re the second comment from someone who found love on Match! Thanks for the tips on how to maximize your chances!
I’ve got a couple of friends that found each other on The Onion and Salon personals; the denizens of those worlds seem to be honest and adventurous. Also, thanks for sharing the insights as to levels of scenesterness of each site, good to know.
I agree with Nicole, try to meet up sooner than later. I’ve exchanged tons of emails with guys that seem hilarious and have excellent grammar skills but are total bores in real life. I’d say all in all, that match is the best middle ground between the extremely picky hipster on Nerve and the not-so-picky shirtless frat boy on POF.
nicely reviewed!
some people always wonder how I could online date, mostly people those who have never tried it.
I’m still encouraged as I also know people who have found their husbands, fiances, and boyfriends online. I’m on match and PoF now. Don’t worry about eHarm, there are a bunch of “older” people on there now.. it used to be good, but I think all the people now use match/PoF. It’s almost like an alternative club/scene, the “hip” places keep changing locations.
Jeff – Evaluating the scenesterness is crucial to establishing the correct tone in profile crafting. Much like a resume, a profile must be created specifically to catch what you most desire. Perhaps I should post my profiles for each of these sites to demonstrate how this can be accomplished.
Sarah – I very much appreciate your appreciation for excellent grammar skills. Furthermore, I hope you didn’t evaluate this post too closely in that regard.
Laura – I sort of refuse to believe that eHarmony was ever hip, but I like where you’re going with the dating sites as clubs motif.
Fantastic article Taryn! Great advice and super entertaining!!!!
I still vote Match. Even though it’s not working out for me at the moment, I’ve met more people through it than the others. And all in all, you get the most bang for your buck.
This makes me want to make Aubrey register and meet her all over again. Nice job!
This is the best: “hey baby, you be lookin fine, hows about we keep it real at my pad tonight aight?”
Thanks Shan. It’s a good thing you’re taken because your profile would give me far too much competition in the eastside hipster market.
Brandon – it certainly seems that the consensus is that match offers the most all around. And perhaps meeting an extra friend or two never hurt anyone in the long run eh?
Matt – Aw, you’re making me blush. I’m blushing on blush.
Guzilover – the real question is, if this line was given to you by Rob Pattinson would it somehow be ok? Now, be honest here…
Taryn – Thanks so much for the helpful review. Having dabbled a bit in the online dating scene myself, I’ve found that banter can be a really important part of the dating process. One of my best online dating experiences was on Nerve.com. I got in touch with a girl from another city, and for weeks we emailed each other back and forth. Our emails eventually turned into actual letter writing. When we finally met up, sparks flew and we had an amazing time together. We still keep in touch.
I’ll be checking out Nerve,soon. Iwas really disappointed in Match…..I live in Florida ( not miami,either)and maybe this place is truly too lame for my adventuresome taste! I dunno but, haven’t really been even slightly amused, much less intrigued. Thanx for the inside info!!!!
Hi – It’s good to read such topical writing on the Internet as I have been able to discover here. I agree with most of what is written here and I’ll be coming back to this website again. Thanks again for posting such great reading material!!