Apparently when you get kicked off The Bachelor for hittin’ it with a staffer (that’s host Chris Harrison’s term for employee) — you don’t ride in a tinted-window limo anymore. As Rozlyn, who was booted from the show last night showed, you get whisked away in a minivan with clear windows. It’s past midnight, Cinderella!
I’ll get to that drama later in this Bachelor recap:
- The first group date was an InStyle photo shoot. It was a tad cheeseball — it felt like Glamour Shots a bit. (And I don’t expect it in the main magazine — maybe in the last issue of the Weddings issue.) Then it segues into a hot tub party — natch. Rozlyn takes bachelor Jake for some private time and she attempts some conversation, which doesn’t go so well so she starts making out with him. Nice move Roz! Hey, when you can’t quite muster an actual convo, go for the physical! And what’s that get her? A rose — damn straight. Ah, men, such predictable creatures. (Love you.)
- Then there was Alli‘s one on one. I have a lil crush on her — she looks like Sienna Miller and is stupidly sweet. I think we’ll see her on many episodes to come.
- Then the next group date to Six Flags Magic Mountain. They got the whole park to themselves. Elizabeth made herself stand out by saying she won’t kiss Jake til he proposes. Somehow her tease is working…I’ll be curious to see how it progresses. Call me progressive, but I think people should kiss before getting engaged. (Woah, Megs, let’s not try to start bringing logic into The Bachelor process.)
Fast forward to the cocktail party/rose ceremony: host Chris pulls Rozy out and calls her slutiness out–she tried to say that her personal life is nobody else’s business. Um, you’re on a reality show to find a husband… Then she takes her sweet time packing while a very large man watches (to make sure she doesn’t steal? Or is he Chris’s bodyguard?). Jake hears the news and feels verklempt–he needs to collect himself and takes some time to pace around the grounds and chill on the outdoor furniture.
Then to the roses. I think the women’s names are written in the roses because he squeezes them and looks at them before he says a name.
So he sends two wonky-eyed crazy chicks home.
Anyway, at this point I’m team Alli. Tune in next week — to the blog, that is. You can skip the show thanks to this stellar, in-depth recap.