Jake gets ready for his San Francisco dates

So the final stop on last week’s The Bachelor road trip is San Francisco. Voice over: ”San Francisco is that city where you can fall in love” – no kidding. Love SFO. Anyway…

The date set-up is three one-on-ones and one two-on-one, which is also an overnight. (Um, producers, stop trying to create a threesome on The Bachelor.) First date goes to… Tenley! Alli was bummed, she wanted to show Jake her city. Tenley is so excited to get her one-on-one. He is excited because she’s so positive. But he knows she was really hurt in the past – very very intuitive of him, a divorcee who was hurt in the past!

They go to the top of Coit tower for dinner. Was it just me, or did the dinner conversation feel more like a soap opera, than reality? What did Tenley learn from her marriage? She learned to jump up when her husband comes home? Wow, what an idiot. Her ex-husband sounds like a needy fool. What does Jake want out of marriage? He needs his wife to respect him and have his back, big surprise – don’t most men want that? “Cheating is a choice,” he says. Seriously the best line of the evening. Cheating is bad, except when I’m dating five girls at a time. THAT’s not cheating. Don’t get me started on the men who believe that cheating doesn’t count unless it’s on a spouse.

The two-on-one

Next date is with two girls – Gia and Vienna. Vienna is SO impressed that Jake sends a chest of clothes for them, says it really meant a lot. Uhm, I highly doubt that Jake picked those clothes or even knows your size, Vienna. I worked in an intimate apparel department – Jake is the type of guy that would come in and say “uhm, she’s about your size, I guess.”

Anyway, the date proceeds – Jake is nervous about dividing attention … it’s “almost awkward.” He did NOT just say that?! Uhm, what ISN’T awkward about The Bachelor? Staying overnight. Threesome? No, wait, that was Gossip Girl, we’ll leave that to Sarah.

Back at the hotel, Alli is nervous. Back at the vineyard, Vienna launches into it with Jake. Vienna gives us her best Soap Opera Digest cry. Jake tries to defend himself, thinking, Vienna, you’re an idiot. Gia gets her turn alone, and points out how all the girls put their legs on him. Uhm, ya, Gia, he is dating ALL of the girls. Cheating on all of you. Kissing all of you, not just putting their legs on him.

Gia and Jake are making out in some dungeon. And then – HA – love it, here comes Vienna. She’s scared, and yet clearly at least one camera-man is accompanying her. Poor Vienna, I actually feel sorry for her. She needs to read The Rules. He is so clearly not into her, at this point, I will be furious if he gives her a rose, I will feel deceived as a viewer.

Vienna, of course, goes to hunt Jake down. Gia has read The Rules – she knows that Vienna is too much. Jake thinks Vienna is sexy-as-hell? Okay, gonna let that slide.

Next, Corrie is on her date, the only one that hasn’t kissed him yet. The run-to-meet-each-other in the grass was beyond cheesy, wow, incredibly stupid. (Almost tops playing “On the Wings of Love” in soft instrumental throughout the show.) They get on a little boat, and have an incredibly uncomfortable almost-kiss. I kept waiting for them to say do you like like me, or just like me? And then, I LOVE it, she says she is saving herself for marriage! Not an issue for him? Then let’s see who is getting the rose…

Last date – Alli. When the date card arrived, Vienna was going to claw Ali’s eyes out, while Alli drones on about how fantastic her stupid card is. Vienna answers the door, natch. I don’t like Alli. Not sure what it is specifically, but I am not into her. Date is going well, they are getting along well, and then Jake just needs to discuss the Vienna situation with her. She tells him she’s ready to let go of it – I don’t believe her, even a little bit. She ran into the bay, in her boots. She RUINED those boots, very upsetting.

Finally, the Rose Ceremony. All the girls are dolled up. Jake has to decide which families he is going to meet. First rose goes to Tenley… Second rose goes to Alli… Third rose goes to Gia… and finally… is it Vienna or the V??? HE PICKS VIENNA. Wowsa. Poor Corrie. What a nice girl. How do you feel about Jake’s pick? Do you think it was the no-sex-before-marriage issue? And what about Alli ruining those boots for no good reason?

Kjersten is a TV watcher and avid relationship adviser

Tags: The Bachelor, TV

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 11:46 am and is filed under celebrity&lifestyle, Other. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.