So the girls leave their L.A. mansion on this episode of The Bachelor and hit the road in RVs for a road trip up the Pacific Coast Highway. Yee-haw! First of all, Gia gets the one-on-one date. They play spin the bottle in a vineyard and I’m left thinking, What’s going on? Then bachelor Jake attempts to make a fire (next time, let me show you how “man”) and they roast hot dogs and toast marshmallows. Then there’s a group date — they go do outdoorsy stuff cuz Jake wants a girl “who can get dirty.” And then they go to the Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo. (Real life couples from Los Angeles actually go up here to stay in the quirky themed rooms.)
Then it’s time for the two-on-one date. During the date, the blond girl Kathryn looks like she would rather be donating blood. Or looking at socks. But she gets a little one-on-one time with him finally: and she attacks him. Nice move. Men LOVE it when you verbally assault them and whine. And guess who gets sent home? Her! And the other one (token mom). That’s right, Jake did not follow the rules of the show again and sent both his dates home.
Cocktail party/rose ceremony time! He gives Alli a rose and then Corrie. And then, dramatic pause (he looks ill. Is he gonna puke?)…and pause…and a producer lady says dude, WTF are you doing? So she takes him to Chris Harrison and Jake asks, “Do I have to give out two more roses?” Buddy, that’s the point of the show — it’s not four episodes! It’s a season — you are screwing ABC and its advertisers! But Chris lets Jake only hand out one more — it goes to…anxious looks on the girls’ faces…Vienna. Alli’s face is AWESOME–such hatred in those pretty little eyes. And then there were five.