This past Wednesday evening I received an email from a friend about a party in honor of  “wine, chocolate, and Feng Shui.”   Initially, the Feng Shui part didn’t sound relevant to my life at all: I’m actually in the process of moving, and putting a LOT of stuff into storage,  so I’m not in a place to buy running water for “flow,” or to think about what to place in my “wealth corner,” as my home really just consists of  piles and boxes right now. Essentially, I’m dismantling a home, not putting one together. But, going home to those piles and boxes wasn’t a comforting thought, so I just decided to go- if the Feng Shui didn’t make sense right now, the wine and chocolate would make up for it.  And anyway, like Woody Allen once said, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” In other words,  life won’t happen to you when you’re waiting on the couch. (Which I had been planning to do, for sure).

So I showed up, and we sat in a  big open beautiful West Hollywood living room with about 15 other women, all late 20′s early 30′s, and everyone came there seeking something. (And by the way, when the lovely host said there would be chocolate, she meant a straight up Godiva factory. Plates and plates of over-sized mint chocolate chips, truffles, and homemade peanut butter cups.) The presenter, a guy named Ariel Joseph Towne sat in the circle with us– not in the center, but alongside of us. He opened up the conversation, and everyone had something to say about where their lives were. He never interrupted, and let the conversation flow. This guy is all about flow. No loudness, no interruptions, just the peaceful flow of organic conversation. Although I’m in a huge transition phase right now, a lot of these women were experiencing exceptional, big, beautiful events in their lives, and their joy and satisfaction created a very nice energy and a sense of hope. (Although, this is Los Angeles, so there was also a bit of competitive energy in the air, and that’s not always a bad thing– we all want to improve our lives and get more from life, so if one person’s success makes us a little hungrier for our own, there’s really no harm).

courtesy of flickr user Spy to Die 4

After that four hour invigorating session, what I took from my first lesson in Feng Shui is that it seems to me to be as much about the order of a home as it is about the order of  our lives. Just as we protect our physical space, we have to learn to protect our emotional space as well. A lot of us don’t do a very good job of protecting ourselves– we protect our home, our pets, and definitely the other people in our lives, just not ourselves enough.  Basically, if you’ve got good energy, there’s bound to be an “energy vampire” out there who is jealous or weak enough to try to steal it, (that person who always just makes you feel small so they can feel bigger) whether they physically enter your home or just exist somewhere in your life. I learned about “the Godfather” principle as a way of protecting  your energy:  you never keep your back to an open space: sit with your back against two walls so you can see the entrance, that way you’ll be ready for anything that comes your way. Move your bed to the far corner of your bedroom, where you are in a place to welcome the good and expel the bad, and when you sleep and dream, you are protected. (Yikes, I’ve been sleeping  “unprotected” with my head to the door. In hindsight, this makes a little too  much sense.) Also, in Feng Shui drains are very literal, and you don’t want them sucking down your energy.  Never sleep with your head pointing toward a drain (as I was doing with my head facing the wall of our bathroom). Close toilet lids, close bathroom doors. Keep the area around your front door to your house clean and uncluttered: this way good energy can flow in and out. Also, clutter is blocked energy. I spent too much time at home this past year, and you know why? I came home and dropped everything on the floor and then moved into the house. In a feng shui sense, I blocked myself in. Last night when I walked into my house,I carefully put everything away, and I swear I had more energy, the house felt lighter, and I felt more free to come and go as I pleased through my clean, open and inviting front door.

Is your house “clean,” but with stuff shoved in drawers, closets, and under beds? You’re only organized on the surface. One closer look, and everything falls apart, so that’s a very nerve wracking, anxiety-inducing way to live. Clear your clutter so you can clear your heart and head. The items in  your house should all be placed with care, in a purposeful spot.  All these lessons on space and clutter are really metaphors for how to live our lives: cleanly, respectfully, safely, flowing, and  positively. Positivity, Ariel reminded us, is much more powerful than negativity. But stop right now with the negative thoughts and worries– you’re only willing them to come true.

After the workshop, I told Ariel how I was moving and he was so receptive, so engaging. He sensed I had abandonment issues, as a lot of us do. He picked me out as a hoarder. TRUE. I collect things and can’t throw them away out of fear. I feel like things have to stay with me, even all the unusable, unwearable, broken stuff, and especially things from my past. (By the way, broken items in your household? A huge Feng Shui no-no.) A lot of the  girls at the workshop admitted to  having massive closets, and they didn’t know where to begin with the exorcisms– Ariel recommended they start turning a hanger backwards once they’d worn something. At the end of the year, the hangers still facing forward hold the clothes you don’t wear. Get some good karma and take them to good will. Our stuff doesn’t really protect us, in fact too much “stuff” just blocks you from life, and that big great open world outside of your door.

When I pack, Ariel suggested having three piles. YES, NO, and MAYBE. When you get to the MAYBE pile, ask yourself why you are on the fence about it. Too much deliberation? Toss it. Try to remain free and unfettered. By letting go of all your crap  you let the new and the good and the better in. By clinging to your old junk, you’re clinging to the past.  He said not to take that stuff with me on my move. He recommended “letting go,” and leaving it behind. Not as a harried escape, but a graceful liberation. I’m definitely ready for any grace, and any liberation that’s offered. If this  blog has any point, it’s that we’ve all gotta keep stepping out of our comfort zones, and in doing so, we’ll always be rewarded.

–Sarah

P.S.  Ariel told me that when I do set up my new apartment, I should first identify my intentions for this new phase in my life. This really got me thinking about what I truly want for myself, something I’ve definitely never considered when setting up previous homes. Ariel said I can email him pictures of my new place, and he will help me align my wants and needs with the arrangement of my apartment. If I set up my apartment in accordance with Feng Shui, whether I’m asking for love, money, health, there are different Feng Shui approaches which can attract what I want. What will be your intentions the next time you re-arrange your space and your life–what is it you want the most?

If you have a question for Ariel, you can email him at consult@thefengshuiguy.com