This episode begins with couples: Bree and Nate feeding each other (HATE when couples feed each other, ESPECIALLY Bree and Nate) Serena and Sebastian (who looks so cute with sleepy morning face) Olivia and Dan IMing, Chuck and Blair in their lavish bed, and Rufus and the Couch.
Little J is dressing like Ms. Havisham. I’m sorry, that maxi dress from Paloma, which might work on, say, Serena, drowns the little teen. She’s skeletal and frail, and that tie dyed sheet is an absolute mess on her. This is the only picture we could find– you don’t get the whole story, but you get it, right? It’s not good.
little J in Paloma, courtesy of blacklabelboutique.com
Vanessa has ironed her hair and it looks much more manageable, we almost like it. A trim is still in order, though. We find her where we always find her, at the coffee shop, where Georgina finds V. Georgina embroils V in her evil plan to get Dan to dump Olivia. This is when we really think V gets her moment: telling G she’s crazy, to her face, when G can’t figure out why Dan isn’t returning her calls (and animated e-cards.) V tells G, “Ok, Dan didn’t write you back because a) he broke up with you b) he’s seeing someone else, c) even though I tried to defend you, you’re a full on crazy person.”
And because we love Georgina for her wicked ways, she looks at V blankly and says, “ok, but can we go back to b?”
Did anyone watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Does anyone else to this day only recognize Michelle Trachtenberg as Dawn? Does anyone else notice she actually has little baby fangs in this scene?
Anyway, Georgina tells V that she’s got to get Dan to “dump the whore,” or she’ll ruin Lily and Rufus’ wedding by telling everyone that Scott is their cast-aside love child. Chills! The bitch is sooo back.
The following scene of Vanessa and Georgina in the dorm room, where they’ve gone to call Dan is one of the funniest GG scenes ever– suddenly we’re loving when V and G get together. Georgina has giantic SNL-style cue cards for V to read while on the phone with Dan, and Georgina even mimes having that V should tell Dan that Olivia’s been seen with a baby bump (and it’s probably Orlando Bloom’s. Sorry, we could never see Hills Duff wit O. Bloom– never). Since Dan and V are both so high brow, he knows she wouldn’t be reading celeb gossip mags EITHER, and he asks if “Lenny made brownies for her floor again.” Priceless. When Vanessa isn’t successful with Dan, Georgina tosses the cue cards and snaps, “haven’t you ever gotten someone to dump a celebrity before?”
Georgina then gets V to photo shop pics of Olivia with a baby bump, but Dan walks in and catches her doing it. Dan is so self obessed these days that his first instinct is to think V is still in love with him. V, by the way, who is, as usual, positively dripping with jewelry, is totally offended. But it’s not totally off base– Dan looks really cute in this episode. Almost cute enough to get us to see The Stepfather. Vanessa tells Dan that Georgina’s been 
blackmailing her, and then spills the beans on Scott. FINALLY.
So Dan meets G in the park, so Dan can at least thwart her until after the wedding. Dan tells her he missed her, etc, and G almost buys it until they kiss- that’s when Dan forgets to grab her ass and G tells a park hotdog vendor she knows he’s lying– so she’s off to ruin everything at the wedding. Dan, though, thinks he acted marvelously.
Chuck and Blair have dim sum with Bree and Nate, and it’s not so much that Blair is jealous, it’s that she doesn’t trust Bree– so she’s in full on Bitch Mode, even calling Bree a future NASCAR mom. When Bree leaves the table to compose herself, Nate asks her what her deal is. “I know women,” she tells Nate, “and none of us are that nice.” She’s on to something. We keep getting the feeling that Chace Crawford can’t wait for this storyline to die so he can be paired up with someone with whom he has actual chemistry. This boring pairing should make him sweat under the collar– we’re all losing interest in white hot Nate Archibald– not an easy feat. Chuck, being the stellar boyfriend to Blair that he is turning out to be, sneaks up on Bree as she’s making a call to her family, in which she’s saying something horribly sneaky about how she’s got Nate right where she wants him, because he’s in love with her. But she’s also hot on Carter’s heels– and Chuck knows this. Basically the two strike a deal (The Bass Man can strike a deal with anyone): in order to protect his friend, he’ll get Carter for her.
Chuck tries to buy Carter Baizon off with a one way ticket– he tells him he’s “sick of playing his travel agent,” and it’s the last time he’s booking him a flight. It’s funny to think of Chuck doing anything the rest of us do, especially going on priceline or cheaptickets.com. In reality his secretary did it, but still. Carter doesn’t end up taking the bait– instead he shows up to the wedding to finally tell Serena what he’s been hiding– that he used Bree Buckley’s cousin for money by asking her to marry him, and then fleeing the day of the wedding and disappearing. Which is why the Buckleys have been hunting him so intensely all over Europe. Serena looks sickened, but Chuck tells her it was brave of him and he must really like her. So? Once a jerk always a jerk. We are now completely over Carter Baizon, not sure about the rest of you.
As expected, Lily and Rufus’ Botanical Gardens wedding is a complete disaster (minus the silk raspberry dress that Jenny makes for Lily, and of course we love her trademark turquoise chandelier earrings as well…)– they don’t tie the knot there due to Lily’s nerves and Scott’s secret being spilled by G– so Lily and Rufus run down to Chinatown to try to catch Scott taking the bus back to Boston (just.let.him.go.) Rufus also gives Lily a really sweet speech about taking a leap together– how the marriage won’t be perfect but it will be real and full of love. We like it. They grab Scott and head back to Williamsburg, to tie the knot for real. Sonic Youth officiates. Amazing. They play “Starpower” as Lily and R share their first dance. Not our first choice, but it works.
courtesy of mtv.com
Nate calls Bree out, asking if he had been used the whole time. She tells him yes. She’s a Buckley, he’s an Archibald. This seems like a quick write off for Bree but we’re stoked. In reality, we think Bree might have tried to stick around a little while to date the hottest guy on the UES. But nevermind, sally forth, Bree, and don’t let the sliding loft door hit you on the way out!
Overall, a totally solid episode. Bree’s gone for now and V is getting a personality, and Georgina has nothing left– so she’s got nothing left to lose. We can’t wait to see what she does next… til next time. xoxo
Tags: gossip girl, TV
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It was an alright episode. viewed it for the first time today with my wife. She enjoys the series much more compared to me.