A note about the pause in these Gossip Girl recaps– up until last night, we thought the show had jumped the shark and we just… couldn’t be bothered. Kinda like Blake Lively reading her lines these days. PUT. OUT. However, not last night– last night they brought back the goods. (Although Blake still seems bored). We’re hooked again, so stay tuned. We had our musings, then our partner in crime Kate posted hers. Read on for the recap.
Jenny is waking up at Nate’s wearing no pants. UGH. Any other guy would feel totally uncomf, instead Nate’s all blase like “Oh, hey, Serena likes to wear that shirt after we do it.” Nate, you’re an idiot, and this is why women act so insane about other women. If you don’t recognize she’s coming onto you, let’s stop for a second and talk. Do you know what year it is? Who’s the President? Sorry, too tough… but you get the point. Of course we’re irrational spider monkeys about other scheming women because MEN ARE IDIOTS when it comes to identifying a not so subtle seduction. Moving on.
Jenny JUST woke up and is wearing all that grey eye make up. It’s like tattooed on. Not like, it is. I’m sure, at 16, Taylor Momsen has tattooed eye makeup. She’s painful. I ran into some Jenny Humphrey look-a-likes vintage shopping in Brooklyn this weekend and lemme tell you that store was not big enough for the both of us.
Serena’s just landed from her mystery trip which began with her running out of the room with Carter Baizon, but Nate still has to shower before he rushes to see her. On the upper east side you always have to shower before you go anywhere, I think that stops around 14th street.
Serena and Lily are holding hands in the cab and it seems so unnatural. Usually, these two bitches are just at each others throats. When are they gonna fight over the same man? It’s time. We’re waiting.
OK I love that Blair marked that box “Old Life” and had Dorota throw it out. Where was Dorota during my break up?
Enter William Baldwin, who makes me long for Alec. I LOVE ALEC. I even loved “It’s Complicated.” But that involved Meryl and Nancy Meyers too. So I was blinded by love.
Am I really supposed to care about the Serena’s dad storyline? Should I check my pulse or that of the writers? Can’t they be bored with this too?
Wait Rufus you seem to not CARE that your wife didn’t tell you she was sick? She went to her ex instead? There are such major trust issues trembling beneath the surface!
What is with all the Lily/Serena touching? They both seem bummed out about it.
Do you think it sucks for Jessica Szhor to see Ed Westwick having fake rebound sex with those girls now that they’re broken up in real life? Or is that the crazy girl talking in me.
OK there have been 2 spins on “Ain’t no Party like a…” in recent primetime TV, but 30 Rock wins with “Ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party because a Liz Lemon party is Mandatory.” It beats Dan’s “Aint no party like a Bushwick party.” Why, other than his is missing pizazz? Because Bushwick is just 6 subway stops away– and it’s just not true.
Anyway, where’s my sushi? I ordered it YEARS ago.
Oh Rufus NOW you want Lily to talk to you? You guys never talk about anything. Except which sweater he should wear. It’s too late.
Oh my god the FRENEMY way Serena and Jenny catch up kills me. It’s so insincere and way too on the money. Jenny slapped on an 4-7 layers of pancake make up just to slink back home after Nate’s. And I do mean slink.
Do 4 out of 5 GG scenes end with someone looking around furtively, then making a suspicious cell phone call for plan hatching? Two just happened back to back. Jenny called Chuck to scheme about Nate, and then that art school girl called her Dad to get Dan into Tisch.
Jenny just walked into Chuck’s apartment ready to seduce Nate, and Kate just texted “is that oil paint on her lips?” I say, “maybe,” but somewhere Taylor Momsen is saying “duh.” Just cuz I bet she says “duh” to people over 20 a lot, because she prolly thinks we’re all idiots. Who is her first 32-year-old boyfriend going to be? The one we find out she’s been dating for 2 years– since she was a mere 14?
If Jenny Humphrey was after my boyfriend I would call her mom and have her grounded. Case closed. Is she real competition for SERENA? Jenny’s just a praying mantis in a tranny wig and clown makeup. And Serena is, well everyone’s basic nightmare. Even Christy Turlington’s. I doubt Christy would ever let Ed Burns work with her.
“We’re over Chuck. Unclench.”– Blair.
Oh CHUCK is saying nothing could measure up to what he had with Blair, but he beds down with a new harem every night. MEN.
Whoa whoa whoa 22nd Bushwick reference– did the neighborhood pay for ad space on this ep? Did one of the writers wake up there after a party last weekend and find a cute place for brunch?
Note to Billy Baldwin. Dad’s should not whisper into their daughter’s cleavage; “What do you say we get out of here?” Your dad does? No he doesn’t.
Blair in Bushwick! I die. “Perhaps Vanessa can loan me a serape?” In real life she would just do some fun shopping, but you have to love it anyway.
It must be said, Blair and Chuck keep hope alive for this show.
What about Dan’s face when Blair says “fatwa” for the 800th time? Blair just learned that word and she’s stoked.
It should be noted that Serena and Jenny’s hair stylists prolly don’t hang out on the weekends. They just have such different visions.
NATE are you kidding? You’re going to go home with Jenny? You’re gonna go get wasted with a skinny 16 yr old who your girlfriend just YELLED at you about? There is no hope for you. S- cut. him. loose.
Hmm is Lily really sick or is Billy making it all up?
Holy ridiculous timing– Serena walking in on Nate and Jenny– I’ve NEVER been that lucky. When Jenny huffs out saying “You guys deserve each other,” it’s like, “thanks a lot, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend for the 407th time in our short lives, we kinda knew that,” and Jenny– you, YOU DESERVE BOARDING SCHOOL AND COMMUNITY SERVICE. Cleaning toilets. With your toothbrush.
I just teared up when Blair said goodbye again to Chuck.
Some Musings from Kate:
There should be child labor laws or child porn laws against the slow camera pan up jenny’s legs — she’s 16 in real life. that was boderline kiddie porn.
It really is starting to bother me that dorota is the only adult in this show with any morals, ability to give advice, and perspective outside her own life. that is a sad state of affairs.
Billy baldwin 100% wants to bed his own daughter. he’s up to something nefarious (natch, being an adult and all) and lily is an idiot. why would she trust him? there was a reason they broke up in the first place and i’m not buying his woe is me tibet story.
Eric is such a fair weather character. Andover w/ the debate team? they send him away once he finally gets an [albeit pathetically lame] plot line again?
Willa is such a bad actor.
Just the way everyone is acting so blase about lilys illness is so strange and annoying. and that they keep calling it “an illness”
Jenny is leaving the show after this season, so something horrible might happen to her which is fine with me. WHEN DO THESE PEOPLE GO TO SCHOOL its really annoying.
Totally agree re: blaire and chuck keeping the show afloat.