By Jen Andrews
Ladies: And you thought good men were hard to find? Try finding the perfect pair of jeans that flatter your body! Now I’m sure you are all familiar with the age old adage “you’ve got to meet a lot of frogs, before you find your prince?” Well, the same holds true for your denim.
If you think about it, you can equate almost any relationship to a pair of jeans: the “Clingy Guy” (one size too small/muffin top jean), the “Aloof/Challenge Guy” (the jean that only fits on your “skinny day”) and of course the “Show-Off Guy” (the jean with way too many pockets, embellishments or whiskering)!
None of which are right for you….neither guy, nor denim.
We have all been there, trying to force fit or idealize a guy to be “the one” when he actually should be “ugh, THAT one”. And, like dating, the perfect jean fit requires many “tries” (and patience).
So, first things first, head straight to your local department store and/or mall so you will have many options in terms of brands, styles and cuts. And PLEASE do not attempt this on one of your “bloated days.” Only an amateur or a masochist would attempt such torture. If you’ve ever tried on anything in a department store, you know we are already faced with the mental challenge of what I like to refer to as the “Poltergeist Light.” (That horrendous spotlight in the dressing room that will show every bump and bulge and make even a size zero look like she should be signing up for Jenny Craig.) As a wardrobe stylist and personal shopper, I am in and out of clothing stores all day, working with everyone from celebrities to real women and am still amazed as to why these stores can not grasp the simple concept of a dressing room light that makes you want to buy the clothes, not off yourself! But… I digress. So now, let’s break down Denim Dating 101.
I may not be an expert on dating, but I certainly can alleviate some “denim dating” anxiety. So, without further ado, I have assembled my top picks of jeans for (almost) every body type. Here goes:
Paige Hollywood Hills
Curvy Frames/Pear Shapes- Dark washes, minimal pocket embellishments and stretch are your friends. Your VERY good friends. When you have fuller hips and thighs, a bootcut or straight leg jean (depending on the fullness of your hips), is the perfect mate for you. I love Paige Premium Denim “Hollywood Hills” cut and Joe’s Jeans “Honey Bootcut” for bootcut jean options. And for straighter leg options, 7 For All Mankind makes a phenomenal one. Another option for those of you who are more daring, “The Boyfriend Jean” by Current Elliott (a straight rolled looser fit jean). It’s a cool option depending on your height. I would say as a general rule that if you are shorter than 5’5” and are fuller figured, you should probably steer clear of the boyfriend jean, as it will tend to add weight to your lower half. 5’6” plus women, feel free to give them a whirl, but PLEASE, only with heels. We’ve all seen those unflattering pictures of Katie Holmes in her oversized boyfriend jeans and flats, not a cute look at all.
Anlo Liza
Petite/Smaller Frames can experiment a little bit more with colored denim and lighter washes with some strategically placed (let me repeat that – STRATEGICALLY placed) whiskering, which can add curves to your frame. A jean with a slight flare will create curves where they don’t exist on a boyish frame. Anlo makes a great trouser jean called the “Liza” that is perfectly suited for your frame. Another great option for a petite frame, is a pair of high waisted jeans, particularly if your torso is on the longer side and your legs are shorter. High-waisted jeans can create the illusion of longer legs. I’m a fan of J Brand denim for higher-waisted options. Depending on how small or large you are on the bottom, J Brand makes great options in slimmer/cigarette styles and flared/bootcut options (their “Love Story” cut is one of their most popular and super flattering). They also make jeans in a number of different rises, 7”, 9”…all designed to prevent the ever unflattering plumber’s crack shot!
Gap Always Skinny
Tall- This category, I happen to know a lot about being 5’11” myself. The biggest challenge when you are tall is to find jeans that are long enough. I have recently become obsessed with The Gap’s “Always skinny deconstructed jean” and for the price, you can purchase three pairs for the price of one high-end designer jean. Another fantastic option is 7 for All Mankind. They make their bootcut jean in “long” with stretch. It’s a like a dream come true. Sort of like the new guy who is cute AND actually has a job. Bonus.
Well, there you have it. Now get out there and start trying. You have to admit, it’s easier than committing to your “sign up for match.com” resolution #14. You’re sure to find your perfect denim match in no time minus the awkward first date dinner conversation!
Contributing style editor Jen Andrews is a stylist, having worked with celebrities, magazines and on a variety of TV shows. She co-owns a personal styling/shopping service called Mend Style that focuses on wardrobe and home consultations.
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Loved the article! Very well written – and I have no interest in girl’s jeans!! Love the part about the department store lighting. Keep them coming, this writer is very refreshing!!!